Thursday, March 26, 2015

The end of September

September is a good month for our family considering it's Kyle's birth month but this past September was one of a kind.  We celebrated Dada's birthday then I was off on a trip to see my cousin get married with no kiddos and no hubby.  I was working like crazy per usual and couldn't wait for my long weekend with some of my favorite people.  My crazy cousins Kate and Meg came to pick me up on their way from STL to MN and all I could think was HELL YES!!  Megan and I drove through the night laughing like I was 20 years old and my old free spirit self just sending/flicking pictures to different countries and having a blast.

When we arrived in Minnesota we all took a quick, MUCH NEEDED nap then met with our family that we don't get to see nearly as often as we should for a lunch adventure.  I could barely get one cocktail down and as we all know, that's not like goal for the weekend was drinksondrinksondrinks.  We walked back over to our hotel before our wedding weekend got started and I wasn't feeling well at all.  I thought I would just sit outside and enjoy the perfect weather by myself for a few minutes until my (scary-jk) Uncle Lex decided to pay me a visit and feel my head because he said I looked a little pale and said he thought I had quite a fever.  After that, I probably took 25 Ibuprofen that weekend just to get me through it and took about 3 showers a day because I felt like garbage.  I didn't want to be the party pooper so I still attended my cousins lovely wedding and about 30 minutes of her reception.  I stayed at the reception long enough to try to get down just a few drinks, 2 in and I couldn't do it any longer.  I went back to the hotel room and went to bed.  We woke up the next morning and I got in the car with my 2 wonderfully hung over BCE's that are such blessings and got on the road!!  I drove for about 3 hours and couldn't do it any longer, all I could think was "MAN this flu bug has really got me down!  No getting sick, just feel like JUNK!"   3 fast food places later for my bce's and hours later and I'm finally home!!

I got home on a Sunday late afternoon and told my sis she has got to get me to an Urgent Care.  We went to 3 (FELT LIKE TEN) and they were all closed until we finally found Urgent Care in Tiffany Springs.  At this point I was throwing up so when I saw the Dr, he quickly said "Well it looks like you have the flu that everyone has right now, sorry!" and sent me on my way.   Thanks for nothing, buddy! 

Monday, September 29, 2014, Kyle had to go to work and decided to leave Owen home with my to help me get Sprite in case I didn't want to get up.  I got up from bed, had some Sprite, laid down on my couch and just laid around with my Owie all day long.  It was about 4pm and my Mom was arriving home from Minnesota, my sister was in the living room with us and Kyle was headed home from work when everything went from the flu bug to my new life. 

I was laying on the couch and when I went to sit up....I went deaf...the room was spinning...I couldn't breathe.  When I laid back, I was OK again.  Tried to do it again and the same scary feelings.  I told my Mom I needed to get to the ER but refused to sit up- they had to get me there in her car but I couldn't move and they can't sit me up.  Just as she and my sisters' boyfriend, Shaun, were getting ready to pick me up I knew that I shouldn't do that.  I told my Mom to call 9-1-1 so they could use a stretcher and I wouldn't have to move at all. 

I was in the ambulance with an EMT and he said that my heart rate was elevated, I explained to him that I have severe anxiety and he didn't say much more.  We got into the ER at North Kansas City Hospital, they hooked me up to the EKG leads, then called for more leads to be stuck on me, then some more.  My male nurse, I will never forget his face when he was watching my heart patterns on the VERY large screen TV in my room.  The ER Dr immediately came in and introduced himself and put those big scary looking (aed) shock pads on my chest and stomach.  I specifically remember asking him if they were about to shock me and he said as long as I keep talking to him, he will not shock me.  I remember watching the nurses face going from inviting to thinking he was about to watch me die.  I asked him if I was about to die and he didn't answer.  They moved me from my little ER room to down the hall so the ER Dr "could see me better and it's right by him just in case".  YEAH RIGHT- THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS!!   The new room looked like an OR, not a room to just be waiting in and consulting with a Dr.  My poor Mom was the only one there watching me go through this and asking me if she should call Kyle, at this point, yes. GET DAYCARE AND GET MY HUSBAND HERE NOW!!  They said they are prepping me for surgery to place a balloon pump in my heart and a pace maker.  I got to tell my Mom and Kyle that I loved them, prayed to my Dad and that's the last I remember for a while.   I just knew that as bad as my anxiety was, I was at peace, knowing that there was NO WAY my Dad or God would let me Mom or anyone in my family go through more grief. 

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