WHY??

This is a picture from my first day outside while I was at St Luke's.  It was on October 16th and it was a beautiful day.  Kyle was just as excited as I was to get my wheel chair outside.  It only lasted about 5 minutes but I just needed some of that sunshine on my face and to see the sky. 

This day I was finally awake and felt good but started to wonder, WHY?  Why did this happen to me?  Not asking WHY ME but what happened?  What got me into this situation?  Did I eat/drink something bad?  Did the flu attack my organs?  Was it hereditary?  What was it?   That's the question that will never be answered so I just need to stop asking.  They said my flu test was positive but then that flu test was a false positive so I didn't have the flu.  They said it was absolutely not hereditary and I did not have what my Dad did.  They say now that I had some type of an autoimmune disease that attacked my heart and that's what I'm sticking with.  Just have to keep looking at the sunshine and not the rain.   Worry about getting healthy and not what made me sick.